Fertility Myths Debunked: What's True and What's Holding You Back from Conceiving

When you're trying to conceive, everyone seems to have an opinion. Your grandmother swears by certain foods, your colleague insists you just need to "relax," and a quick internet search turns up contradictory advice from every direction. In Hong Kong, where modern medicine meets deep-rooted Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) wisdom, the landscape of fertility advice can feel especially overwhelming.

The problem? Many widely believed fertility myths are not just unhelpful — they can actually delay conception, cause unnecessary stress, and lead couples away from evidence-based support at a critical time. According to the Hong Kong Department of Health, approximately 1 in 6 couples in Hong Kong experience some degree of fertility challenge, yet misconceptions about what affects fertility remain rampant.

In this article, we cut through the noise. Drawing on peer-reviewed research, reproductive medicine, and a respectful nod to traditional perspectives, we debunk the most common fertility myths — so you can focus on what actually works.

Myth 1: "Just Relax and It Will Happen"

Of all the fertility myths, this one is perhaps the most frustrating to hear — and the most pervasive. While stress management genuinely matters for overall health, telling someone struggling with infertility to "just relax" dramatically oversimplifies a complex medical issue.

The truth: Stress alone does not cause infertility. Medical conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, blocked fallopian tubes, or low sperm motility are not resolved by taking a holiday. A landmark study published in Human Reproduction found that while high levels of the stress biomarker alpha-amylase were associated with a slightly longer time to pregnancy, stress was not classified as a primary cause of infertility in otherwise healthy couples.

That said, chronic psychological stress does affect the hormonal cascade involved in reproduction. Cortisol — the body's stress hormone — can interfere with gonadotropin-releasing hormone (GnRH) production, potentially disrupting ovulation cycles. Practices like mindfulness, acupuncture (well-supported in TCM tradition and increasingly validated in Western research), yoga, and adequate sleep can all support hormonal balance.

What you should do: If you've been trying for 12 months without success (or 6 months if you're over 35), see a reproductive specialist. Stress management can be part of your plan, but it is not the plan.

Myth 2: "Age Only Affects Women's Fertility"

In Hong Kong's demanding professional culture, many couples delay starting families — a deeply understandable choice. But conversations about the "biological clock" tend to focus exclusively on women, leaving men with a false sense of security.

The truth: Male fertility also declines with age, though more gradually than female fertility. Research published in Fertility and Sterility has shown that sperm DNA fragmentation increases significantly after age 40, which is associated with lower fertilisation rates, higher miscarriage risk, and increased risk of certain genetic conditions in offspring. Sperm motility, morphology, and volume also tend to decrease over time.

For women, the decline is more pronounced. Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have — approximately 1–2 million at birth, declining to around 300,000–400,000 at puberty, and continuing to decrease in both quantity and quality. By age 35, egg quality can drop significantly. By 40, the monthly probability of natural conception for a healthy woman is approximately 5%.

Hong Kong context: The median age at first marriage in Hong Kong has risen steadily — now around 30.9 for women and 33.7 for men according to the Census and Statistics Department. This makes age-related fertility education more important than ever for local couples.

What you should do: Both partners should be aware of age-related changes. Men concerned about sperm quality may benefit from targeted nutrients such as CoQ10, zinc, and selenium — found in products like Conceive Plus Men's Motility Support — which support sperm health at a cellular level.

Myth 3: "If You've Been Pregnant Before, Getting Pregnant Again Is Easy"

Secondary infertility — difficulty conceiving after a previous successful pregnancy — affects many couples and yet is rarely discussed. The assumption that "you've done it before, so it'll happen again" leaves these couples without the support they need.

The truth: Secondary infertility accounts for roughly 50% of all infertility cases globally, according to the World Health Organization. Age progression, new underlying health conditions (such as thyroid dysfunction, fibroids, or a partner's worsened sperm parameters), lifestyle changes, and post-pregnancy body changes can all affect fertility the second or third time around.

In some cases, complications from a previous pregnancy or birth (such as uterine scarring from a C-section or a condition like Asherman's syndrome) can make subsequent conceptions more challenging.

What you should do: Don't dismiss fertility challenges because of past success. Apply the same timeline guidelines — see a specialist after 12 months of trying (6 months if over 35), regardless of reproductive history.

Myth 4: "Irregular Periods Mean You're Infertile"

Many women with irregular cycles assume the worst — that they can't conceive. While irregular cycles can indicate underlying conditions worth investigating, they do not automatically mean infertility.

The truth: Irregular menstruation often points to irregular ovulation (anovulation), which is treatable. The most common cause is PCOS, affecting approximately 8–13% of women globally, and estimated to affect 5–10% of women in Hong Kong. However, PCOS is one of the most treatable causes of ovulation-related infertility.

Lifestyle interventions — including maintaining a healthy weight, reducing refined carbohydrate intake, and managing insulin resistance — can restore ovulation in many PCOS cases. Nutritional support also plays a role: myo-inositol, a naturally occurring compound, has been shown in multiple clinical studies to support healthy ovulation and insulin sensitivity in women with PCOS. It is a key ingredient in Conceive Plus Ovulation Support.

Other causes of irregular cycles include thyroid disorders, hyperprolactinaemia, excessive exercise, and significant weight changes — all assessable through standard blood tests.

What you should do: Track your cycles using a basal body temperature (BBT) chart or an ovulation predictor kit (OPK). Report persistent irregularities to your gynaecologist. Irregular doesn't mean impossible — it means investigate.

Myth 5: "Certain Sexual Positions Improve Chances of Conception"

From "missionary with a pillow under your hips" to "don't stand up for 20 minutes afterwards" — fertility folklore around sexual positions has flourished for generations.

The truth: There is no credible scientific evidence that any particular sexual position increases the likelihood of conception in couples with normal fertility. Sperm are extraordinarily mobile. Within seconds of ejaculation, sperm begin swimming toward the cervix, propelled by their own motility. The cervical mucus acts as a facilitator, and by 15 minutes, sperm are already reaching the fallopian tubes regardless of your post-coital position.

Where position matters more is in cases of retrograde cervix or similar anatomical considerations — something your gynaecologist can advise on specifically.

What you should do: Focus on timing (the fertile window — the 5 days before ovulation and the day of ovulation itself) and frequency (every 1–2 days during the fertile window is optimal). Ditch the gymnastics; focus on the fundamentals.

Myth 6: "Fertility Supplements Don't Work — They're Just Expensive Placebos"

Scepticism about supplements is healthy. The wellness industry does contain products that over-promise and under-deliver. However, dismissing all fertility-supportive nutrition as "placebo" ignores a growing body of peer-reviewed evidence.

The truth: Specific micronutrients play well-documented roles in reproductive function. Here's a summary of the evidence:

• Folate (not folic acid in its synthetic form for all): Essential for DNA synthesis and reducing neural tube defect risk. The active form, methylfolate, is better absorbed by women with MTHFR gene variants — now widely available in quality prenatal formulas.
• CoQ10 (Coenzyme Q10): A powerful antioxidant found naturally in mitochondria. Egg and sperm cells are metabolically intensive and particularly vulnerable to oxidative damage. Multiple RCTs have shown CoQ10 supplementation improves egg quality in women undergoing IVF and sperm motility in men with fertility challenges.
• Zinc: Critical for sperm production, testosterone synthesis, and ovarian follicle development. Deficiency is associated with reduced sperm count and poor egg development.
• Vitamin D: Receptors for vitamin D exist on reproductive organs. Low vitamin D is associated with PCOS severity, poor IVF outcomes, and reduced sperm motility. In Hong Kong, despite year-round sunshine, vitamin D deficiency is surprisingly common due to indoor lifestyles and sun avoidance.
• Omega-3 fatty acids (DHA/EPA): Important for sperm membrane fluidity and embryo development. Also critical for fetal brain development from the earliest weeks of pregnancy.
• Myo-inositol: As noted above, well-supported in clinical research for PCOS-related ovulation support.

Conceive Plus Women's Fertility Support and the Men's range are formulated with these clinically relevant nutrients — offering couples a research-grounded foundation as they try to conceive.

What you should do: Choose supplements based on your specific situation and ideally in consultation with a healthcare provider. Look for transparent ingredient labelling, third-party testing, and formulations that reflect current research — not just marketing.

Myth 7: "Herbal Remedies from TCM Are Not Effective for Fertility"

The counterpoint to the supplement scepticism myth — many in Western medicine dismiss TCM entirely, while some TCM practitioners overstate their capabilities. The nuanced reality is more interesting.

The truth: Traditional Chinese Medicine has a rich, multi-millennia history of addressing reproductive health with formulas involving herbs such as Dang Gui (当归), Bai Shao (白芍), Tu Si Zi (菟丝子), and He Shou Wu (何首乌), among others. In Hong Kong's unique healthcare landscape, many couples integrate both TCM and Western reproductive medicine — and some research supports elements of this approach.

Acupuncture, for instance, has been studied in the context of IVF support, with some meta-analyses suggesting possible benefits for endometrial receptivity and stress reduction. A 2020 review in PLOS ONE found that Chinese herbal medicine improved pregnancy rates in women with diminished ovarian reserve when used alongside conventional treatment.

However, important cautions apply: Some herbal preparations can interact with fertility medications. Certain herbs (like high-dose He Shou Wu) have documented hepatotoxicity risks. Quality control across herbal products varies enormously. Any TCM treatment should be disclosed to your reproductive specialist.

What you should do: Don't dismiss TCM out of hand, especially in Hong Kong where integrated care is culturally supported and increasingly available. But choose a registered TCM practitioner, maintain open communication with your Western medicine team, and apply the same critical thinking you'd use for any supplement or medication.

Myth 8: "Lubricants Are Fine to Use When Trying to Conceive"

Many couples don't realise that conventional lubricants — even many water-based varieties — can be harmful to sperm. Studies show that popular lubricants like K-Y Jelly, Astroglide, and even olive oil can significantly reduce sperm motility.

The truth: A study published in Fertility and Sterility found that most commercially available lubricants reduced sperm motility by up to 60–100% at the concentrations commonly used during intercourse. This is a significant and often overlooked factor in couples who use lubricants regularly during their fertile window.

The mechanism is partly osmotic (many lubricants are not isotonic with semen) and partly related to pH (sperm thrive at a slightly alkaline pH, which many lubricants disrupt).

What you should do: If vaginal dryness is a concern — common during the fertile window due to hormonal fluctuations, and also associated with stress — use a fertility-friendly lubricant specifically formulated to be sperm-compatible. Conceive Plus Fertility Lubricant is isotonic, pH-balanced, and designed to support sperm survival, not hinder it.

Myth 9: "A Healthy Lifestyle Guarantees Fertility"

This myth runs in the opposite direction — the assumption that if you eat well, exercise, and don't smoke, fertility will simply follow. While healthy habits are genuinely important, they don't guarantee fertility, and couples who live healthily but struggle to conceive are sometimes made to feel they must be doing something wrong.

The truth: Structural factors — blocked tubes, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, chromosomal abnormalities, autoimmune conditions, genetic factors affecting sperm — are not resolved by green smoothies or gym memberships. These conditions require medical diagnosis and intervention.

According to the British Fertility Society, approximately 25% of infertility cases are "unexplained" even after thorough investigation — meaning no identifiable cause is found despite normal investigations. This is not a failure of lifestyle; it reflects the genuine complexity of human reproduction.

What you should do: Maintain a healthy lifestyle as a foundation — it does improve outcomes across many fertility treatments and reduces pregnancy complications. But don't let it substitute for medical evaluation when investigation is warranted.

Myth 10: "IVF Is Always the Next Step If You Can't Conceive Naturally"

Many couples who are advised to seek fertility help immediately assume IVF (in vitro fertilisation) is their only option. This leads some to undergo expensive, invasive treatment when simpler interventions might suffice — and leads others to delay seeking help, fearing they'll be "pushed" into IVF.

The truth: IVF is a powerful and effective treatment, but it is typically one of several options, not the automatic default. Depending on the diagnosis, treatment pathways might include:

• Ovulation induction with medication (e.g., Clomifene or letrozole for PCOS)
• Intrauterine insemination (IUI) — a less invasive procedure appropriate for some male factor and unexplained infertility cases
• Laparoscopic surgery to remove endometriosis lesions or open blocked tubes
• Lifestyle interventions — including weight management, which can restore ovulation in some PCOS cases without medication
• Nutritional and hormonal optimisation before trying again naturally

In Hong Kong, IVF is available through both public (Hospital Authority) and private providers. Wait times for public IVF are long, making early investigation and appropriate step-up care important.

What you should do: See a reproductive endocrinologist (or gynaecologist with fertility training) for a proper diagnosis. Understand your specific issue before deciding on a treatment path. Ask about all available options.

Myth 11: "You Can Always Tell If You Have a Fertility Problem"

Many people believe fertility problems come with obvious symptoms — irregular periods, painful cycles, or visible signs. In reality, many of the most significant fertility conditions are completely "silent."

The truth: Low sperm count produces no symptoms. Endometriosis (affecting approximately 10% of women globally) can be entirely asymptomatic or cause symptoms easily dismissed as normal period pain. Blocked fallopian tubes cause no pain. Chromosomal translocations — which cause recurrent miscarriage — are invisible without genetic testing.

Even diminished ovarian reserve (a lower-than-expected egg count for one's age) can be present in women with perfectly regular cycles. The only reliable way to assess ovarian reserve is through a blood test (AMH — anti-Müllerian hormone) and an antral follicle count via ultrasound.

What you should do: Don't wait for symptoms to prompt investigation. If you're planning a family and approaching 35, proactive fertility assessment — sometimes called a "fertility MOT" — is worth discussing with your doctor.

Myth 12: "Miscarriage Means Something Is Wrong with You"

Miscarriage carries enormous emotional weight, and in many cultures — including aspects of Hong Kong's — it also carries stigma and silence. Many people who experience pregnancy loss are left with a deep sense of personal failure. This is one of the most harmful myths of all.

The truth: Miscarriage is far more common than widely acknowledged. Approximately 10–20% of recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage, with the real figure possibly higher when chemical pregnancies are included. The vast majority of early miscarriages (before 12 weeks) are caused by chromosomal abnormalities in the embryo — a random event unrelated to anything the mother or father did or didn't do.

Recurrent miscarriage (typically defined as 3 or more consecutive losses) affects approximately 1% of couples and warrants thorough investigation, including genetic testing of both partners, uterine assessment, immunological screening, and assessment of sperm DNA fragmentation.

Emerging research also suggests that oxidative stress — which can damage both egg and sperm DNA — may contribute to miscarriage risk. Antioxidant supplementation (CoQ10, vitamin E, vitamin C) is an area of ongoing research in this context.

What you should do: If you've experienced a miscarriage, please seek both emotional and medical support. One miscarriage generally doesn't require investigation. Two or more warrants a specialist referral. And please remember: miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you caused.

Frequently Asked Questions About Fertility Myths

Q1: Does diet really affect fertility?

Yes, significantly. A diet rich in whole foods, antioxidants, healthy fats, and plant-based proteins has been associated with better fertility outcomes for both men and women. The "Mediterranean diet" pattern has particular support in reproductive medicine research. Conversely, diets high in processed foods, trans fats, and refined sugars are associated with poorer outcomes. Specific nutrients — folate, zinc, omega-3s, vitamin D — play direct roles in reproductive function. Food alone can't overcome structural infertility issues, but nutrition is a legitimate pillar of fertility optimisation.

Q2: Does caffeine affect fertility?

Moderate caffeine consumption (under 200mg/day — roughly one standard coffee) is generally considered safe while trying to conceive. Higher intakes (above 300mg/day) have been associated with slightly longer time to pregnancy and modestly increased miscarriage risk in some studies. This applies to both partners. Herbal teas vary widely in their safety profile during conception attempts — some (like raspberry leaf in high doses) are best avoided, while others are generally considered safe.

Q3: Can you get pregnant during your period?

While uncommon, it is biologically possible, particularly for women with shorter cycles or longer-than-average periods. Sperm can survive in the reproductive tract for up to 5 days. If a woman with a short cycle ovulates on day 10–11 and has intercourse on day 6–7 (near the end of her period), conception is theoretically possible. For most women with 28-32 day cycles, the risk is very low. But "you can't get pregnant during your period" is not reliable as a contraceptive strategy.

Q4: Is it true that underwear type affects male fertility?

This one has some genuine basis. Sperm production (spermatogenesis) is temperature-sensitive — the testes are located outside the body because sperm require a temperature approximately 2°C cooler than core body temperature. Tight underwear, prolonged heat exposure (hot baths, saunas, laptop heat), and sedentary lifestyles that increase scrotal temperature can temporarily reduce sperm parameters. Switching to looser-fitting underwear is a low-risk, no-cost intervention. A 2018 Harvard study found men who wore boxers had 25% higher sperm concentrations than those who wore briefs — though overall fertility impact remains debated.

Q5: Does birth control use affect long-term fertility?

For the vast majority of women, no. Hormonal contraceptives — pills, patches, injections, hormonal IUDs — do not cause long-term fertility damage. After stopping the pill, most women ovulate within 1–3 months. There can be a short delay (particularly with injectable contraception like Depo-Provera, where fertility may take 6–12 months to fully restore), but this is temporary. Copper (non-hormonal) IUDs have no effect on fertility after removal. If fertility takes time to return after stopping contraception, it's worth investigating whether an underlying condition like PCOS was being masked.

Q6: Can men's lifestyle changes improve sperm quality?

Absolutely. Sperm production takes approximately 72-90 days (a full spermatogenic cycle). This means that lifestyle changes made today can meaningfully improve sperm quality in 3 months. Quitting smoking, reducing alcohol, improving sleep, managing weight, reducing heat exposure, and targeted supplementation with antioxidants, zinc, and CoQ10 have all demonstrated measurable improvements in sperm parameters in clinical studies.

Q7: Is the 'fertile window' really just one day?

No — this is an important misconception. While ovulation itself occurs over a short window (the egg is viable for 12-24 hours), sperm can survive in the female reproductive tract for 3-5 days. This means the fertile window spans approximately 6 days: the 5 days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation itself. Having intercourse every 1-2 days during this window optimises the chances of sperm being present when the egg is released.

Q8: Can acupuncture improve fertility?

The evidence is mixed but emerging. Acupuncture is not a standalone fertility treatment, but some research suggests it may support outcomes when used alongside conventional treatment — particularly by reducing stress hormones, improving blood flow to the uterus, and supporting hormonal regulation. In the Hong Kong context, where access to qualified TCM practitioners is excellent and integration with Western reproductive medicine is culturally normalised, acupuncture may be a valuable complementary approach. Discuss with both your reproductive specialist and a registered TCM practitioner.

Q9: Does weight affect fertility?

Yes, significantly — in both directions. Both underweight and overweight BMI categories are associated with ovulation irregularities and poorer fertility treatment outcomes. In women with PCOS, even a modest weight reduction of 5-10% of body weight can restore regular ovulation. In men, obesity is associated with lower testosterone, higher oestrogen levels, and poorer sperm parameters. However, extreme dieting or excessive exercise can suppress reproductive hormones as effectively as obesity — balance and sustainable healthy weight management are key.

Q10: Is infertility always a "female problem"?

This myth persists despite clear evidence to the contrary. Male-factor infertility accounts for approximately 30-40% of all infertility cases, and a further 20-30% of cases involve factors in both partners. In Hong Kong, as in other places, there can be cultural reluctance for men to undergo semen analysis — but this straightforward, non-invasive test provides crucial information. Both partners should be assessed simultaneously when a couple is having difficulty conceiving. Infertility is a couples' journey, and treating it as such leads to better outcomes for everyone.

Moving Forward: From Myths to Clarity

Fertility myths persist because conception touches something deeply personal. When facing uncertainty, human beings seek patterns, stories, and simple answers. But fertility is complex — shaped by genetics, age, timing, hormonal balance, immune function, lifestyle, and sometimes factors we simply cannot fully explain.

What we do know is this: early investigation leads to better outcomes. Evidence-based nutrition provides meaningful support. Both partners matter. And help — whether from reproductive medicine, targeted supplementation, or integrated care — is available in Hong Kong today.

Whether you're just beginning to think about starting a family or have been on this journey for some time, the most empowering step you can take is to replace myths with knowledge, and uncertainty with action.

You deserve accurate information. You deserve support. And you deserve to make decisions based on what's actually true.